It's been a long time since I posted here I guess I've been more on Facebook dealing with little things other than trying to cope with realities of my current life.over the last few weeks I've had to recognize that I'm not 20 anymore that's my body doesn't rebound slowly but it also doesn't rebound as fast as I'd prefer. after destroying my wrist on January 11th I have not been back to work. I miss it and I don't.I've been spending most of my time alone at home with the cats and dog while John continues to work and James continues to do his own thing and Joseph remains in treatment in Utah. John made the choice to go to Utah to visit Joseph because he worked hard in the program for us to be able to come and see him. I got to stay home and have surgery. I told John he should go see Joseph and that he should tell him how much I really wanted to go because of my arm I was not able to. It was really discouraging because we haven't seen him since last May. 

After getting cancer, I thought I had dealt with facing my mortality.  But this bad break of my arm really threw me. I started feeling old and feeble. This is not a helpful feeling for me to have. As a result I started to go into depression and feeling defeated. (maybe that should be disarmed.)  If I keep going down that path it's a really bad place.

I talked to a wonderful Christian sister who advised me to get back into the Bible reading it everyday listening to it on disc or on my mp3. She knew what she was talking about.  Once I started to hear the Word of God and really drink it in, I realized that when I am weak, God is strong. She reminded me of a lot of promises in the Bible including Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11 and 12, Psalm 139. Nothing happens without a reason I know that we live in a fallen world, and God can take anything and use it for His purposes. I remember hearing my dad sing a song after mom died. Farther along we'll know all about it, farther along we'll understand why. cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine we'll understand it all by and by.