"Can I go too?"  "Sorry, Snow, we're going too far this trip to take you."

Joseph saying goodbye to Fluffy.

Avoiding bugs on the plane.

Grandma and her boys at Victor's Cafe

Me with Joey

He thought his hair looked just fine.

James modeling his new clothes from Grandma.

They were looking at the "Mexican" food menu.

Thank you Grandma.  She gave him the jacket.

John's sister Dawn & brother-in-law Bob are building the house.  It is beautiful even half-finished.

Joseph -- hates goodbyes -- Dawn, James and John just before we left Grandma Myrt's to head to my dad's place.

The family

So close and yet so far.  We didn't have time to visit this time.  James wanted a promise we'd go there next time.

Gas prices were a lot lower than at home -- they were over $3 when we got back.

On the road north

A huge, swirling flock of birds in southern Louisiana.

Joseph took this one -- who knows?

James and John playing a quick game of chess at April's parents' home in Conway, AR.

I didn't get a photo of April -- good dodging A!! Courtney & Zach on the couch with us.

Calypso is the kitten.

The boys really miss hanging out with Zach.

Sally with Rosie in the kitchen.

I gave up the wig.  Dad, Sally and Rosie

Rosie, Janeane and Louis

Having a father-daughter talk.

Wade and Janeane are going to welcome another family member in May.

Joseph reading and Ella napping.

Cousins visiting and enjoying each other's company.

James and Joseph sharing a seat on the couch.

Comparing heights -- James wins.

Cozy family times.

On the road again . . . Headed to Indiana on Christmas Eve.

We grabbed a few more presents at a gas station/truck stop on the way.

Rainy night in Missouri.

I70 heading to Indiana

It was raining too hard to read the sign.

Winter rain and flooded fields.

We highly recommend the Blue Springs Cafe in Illinois. 

Mom, do you have to take another picture?

Waiting for my gizzards and livers -- need that iron you know.

Ah! We made it to Grant and Cindy's! Laura made some incredible pizza.

Post breakfast, pre present opening. 

Giving Chloe her Christmas outfit -- she prefers wearing her own fur coat.

James handed out presents at first.

This wonderful present got used the very next day.

Julie & Laura gave each other identical gifts.

Emily got Sarah Palin's book.

John liked his Star Trek Pez dispensers from Joseph.

Albert & Wink Dowdy opening their presents.

Joshua got tickets to an IU game. 

Julie keeping Chloe dressed for her photo opportunity with Laura's assistance.

Chloe, Joshua, Julie, Emily, and Laura.  Clockwise from bottom

The distinguished Riggins clan

Cousins

Joshua, Laura and James

Emily is a sleepy lady

Brrrrrrrr!

The first snowball of the trip.

James D watching James & Uncle Grant play Risk.

The Dowdy Siblings -- Cindy, Ron and Greg

Snow -- just starting to stick

Cousins playing basketball as it snowed on Sunday.

Laura is a little too cold to stay out.

Racing for the door inside.  Emily is going to stay out and play with James.

Cousins just before we left.

Grant and Cindy in their front room. 

It was snowing pretty hard as we headed out of Bloomfield.

The boys made friends with other stuck travelers on I70 while it kept snowing.

The emergency vehicles used the shoulder to pass.  We made it safely to Indy,

ate dinner at a Steak and Shake -- never again! and stayed overnight in a hotel.  We caught our flight the next morning and got home to temperatures in the 60's. 

We are thankful for the wonderful hospitality, and the opportunity to visit family and friends.  Lord willing, we'll be able to do it again sometime before too long.

At church today, we all got a copy of Abraham Lincoln's 1863 Proclamation of a Day of Thanksgiving.  It was interesting to see how clearly he stated that God was the reason our country has been blessed.  It made me wish our current president would recognize the same thing.   Ok, off the soap box. . .

I go to my doctor Wednesday for a check up.  Lord willing, all will be well.  We've invited 8 guests over for Thanksgiving dinner, and it would be sad to cancel.  I am feeling really upbeat and more energetic today. 

I'm finishing the paperwork for a civil service job I've been offered at my current job.  It's a lot of information, but worth the effort to do.

Those of you who read this blog are aware of what I'm thankful for this year, and my prayer for you all is that the Lord will richly bless you today and ever day.

Hurrah.  I have a fully functioning immune system again.  I got my blood drawn Monday, and was released to go back to work on Tuesday.  At that time my count was 4500 with 45% neutrophils.  On Tues, I restarted one of my medicines, and got another blood test on Thursday.  That blood count was 7500 with 70% neutrophils. 

I am so grateful to those who prayed for me.  I know this was a direct answer to prayer.  How else could I go from 900 with 0% to 7500 with 70% neutrophils in a week?  People may say that the prednisone was the cause.  I believe it was the tool God used to heal me. 

So, I'm not unique, I'm just like everybody else.  I'm praying I'll stay that way!

Apparently my white count plummet is a rare occurrance for someone in remission.  My bone marrow biopsy was normal -- but for some reason the white cells weren't getting out into my blood.  I'm off all medicine except prednisone and xanax (for anxiety).  I'm sequestered until I go to get my blood drawn tomorrow.  The last level on Thursday was 4% neutrophils -- up from 0% on Wed.  My total white count had gone up from 0.9 to 2.4, but a normal amount of neutrophils is 50%. 

I haven't been to work since 10/12.  Sally described it as getting a flat tire, rather than run over by a semi.  Before, I was able to let go of "why" when getting treated for lymphoma.  This time, it's a lot harder to just rest in the Lord.  I will probably get sent to a blood specialist at University of California San Diego Medical Center for a second opinion. 

I'm just so tired of being the patient.  I want to be well, healthy, and living the life the Lord has given me.  Our sons have been having a tough time, and poor John is having to be dad and mom again.   Please keep our family in your prayers! 

I saw my oncologist yesterday.  He's a really good doctor, very supportive, reassuring, and not afraid to scratch his head and say, "I don't know".  What we do know . . . it's not from the chemo, it's not lymphoma back again , it's not because of the flu shot, and it's not from the sinus infection because that's bacterial. 

My white count increased from 0.9 to 1.3 in 2 days.  This is good, but the level is still lower than it was in April when I was hospitalized.  My doctor was planning to hospitalize me before he saw me.  Fortunately, the antibiotic was helping me feel better, and I didn't have to go after all.  Unfortunately, I have a rash like purple measles all over me now from the Cipro.  It's not life threatening, it doesn't itch or hurt, so I'm taking an antihistamine to keep any other reactions quiet.

Poor John is feeling a lot of frustration.  No sooner do I get better, than I get sick again.  I'm being a hermit at home again, so Dad is the taxi service for the boys and chief cook and bottle washer again.  I only worked one day this week, and am not sure when I'll be able to go back. 

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling off.  I thought I had a fever, but I needed to get to work, so off I went.  I took an aleve and then after it wore off, I took sudafed sinus.  I felt ok, and work went along fine.  On my way home, I noticed once again that I was having palpitations.  I always thought I knew what that word meant, until Tues when I looked it up.  It means being aware of one's heartbeat.  Oh, well, yeah, I'm having palpitations -- have been for a couple of weeks off and on.  I decided that maybe I should get it checked. 

I went to Urgent Care, where they checked me out.  I told them about a couple of other symptoms I was having and they did a couple of tests for those.  They sent me home on no medicine, and told me to check back with my doctor if the symptoms kept up.  I woke up the next morning and knew I had a fever.  I called in sick to work, which I hate having to do.  I was lying in bed feeling yucky, when I got a call from my doctor's office.  The Urgent Care sent her a message about me being there -- it's ok, it's the same medical group.  So, I got an appointment for that afternoon.  I was trying to be smart and didn't take any fever reducing medicine.  I had heard that a fever can burn out the bugs, but in my case, I should have just taken the medicine.  I was running a 101.8 fever when I got checked at the doctor's office.  I felt horrible.  But the focus at first was on my heart.  They had done 2 EKGs in Urgent Care, and then another at the doctor's.  They said it was fine.  That was a relief.  (Except I got a call today to schedule a cardiology appointment.)  The nurse practitioner (at my dr office) told me he thinks I have the H1 N1 flu. And, I have an infection, which is what I thought, but Urgent Care said my test was negative.  He sent me for a chest x-ray, and blood work.  He prescribed Cipro, and sent me home, off work until at least Monday. 

So, while lying in bed today, I got a call from the oncologist who told me my white count was around 1000, lower than it was when I went into the hospital in April.    I have an appointment with him tomorrow and have to get my blood re-drawn first.  I'm trying not to worry.

But I see God's hand in so many places in my life.  Last Thursday, as I was driving to work, I glanced down at my cup as I put it back into the holder.  When I looked up, there was nothing but white in my view.  A Marine in a white Mustang convertable was making a U turn -- right in front of me.  Despite standing on the brakes, it was too close for me to stop in time.  Crunch.    I T-boned his car.  So what does this have to do with Pollyanna??  No one was hurt.  My car, though damaged, is drivable.  If his insurance is the fly-by-night company it sounds like, I can claim against mine. 

I've been worried about my health again. Every twinge, twitch, ache, etc., I start to think I should call the doctor about it.  Dr. Crucitt, my oncologist, ordered an MRI and a Dexa scan to find out about the compression fracture in my spine.  I had the MRI today, and within 3 hours of the scan, Dr. Crucitt called with the results.  When I heard his voice on my voicemail, I was scared because I thought, "here it comes".  The tech had told me to expect the results after 2 days.  Since it was so quick I figured it had to be bad news.    So, the bad news is that I have arthritis in my back.  The good news is . . . no tumor, no sign of lymphoma causing the fracture.  So, no need for radiation.  The Dexa scan is to see if I have osteoporosis.  That's on the 29th. 

I've decided with God my glass is always all full.  I just have to see the contents.  These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

I have a job interview tomorrow for a civil service position at my current work site.  I would switch from being a contractor to being a government employee.  Please pray for God's will.  Thanks. 

It occurred to me that I have said that I love my job, but haven't really said what I love about it. 

California is a suspicious place.  If I smile at strangers, they react with a look that says, "What do you want?"  If I wave at someone while driving, there is another suspicious reaction, "I don't know you. Why are you waving at me?"  Heaven forbid you try to talk to a stranger! 

When I went to Camp Pendleton for my interview, people smiled at me and said hello as I walked by.  There were American flags all over, and people showed respect for them.  I was greeted at the mental health area with warmth.  They seemed glad to see me, and stated they hoped I got the job.  "We sure need you."  Wow!

I started work at the end of July 08.  Doing therapy in the past with chronic mentally ill patients gave me a very different experience than working with active duty military service members. Active duty military listen to what I recommend, and do it!  They want to get better, and they do what it takes.  They appreciate what I do, and tell me so. 

But it's not just the clients who appreciate me.  My coworkers respect me and consult with me about our mutual clients.  They worked with the contracting company I actually work for, to make sure I was able to keep my job.  People took the time to take care of my plants, and when I got back, apologized that a couple of them died. 

There is a level of patriotism, honor and commitment I haven't found in civilian workplaces.  God is acknowledged -- "For God and country" is more than just a saying. 

Given all this, I feel I am a better therapist, and a better person for working there.  What I do matters.  Someone who comes for help with PTSD can get effective help thanks to training they've given me.  So, yes, I love my job and care about those I help and those I work with.  Their commitment inspires me.

I've been offline at home thanks to my clumsiness.  I have destroyed four different power cords since July.  The third one was to John's new laptop.  Oops.  Then he got the fourth one to replace it, and it got yanked too hard.  Now it doesn't work.  I can't access Xanga, Facebook or my personal e-mail accounts from work, so, it's been a while since I've posted here.  I can post some from my phone to Facebook, and can respond to some e-mails as well, but it's not the same as having a real keyboard and computer screen. 

I'm posting now from a secondary computer John has in his office.  He won't let me use his "real" computer because, for some reason, he thinks I mess them up.  Can you imagine?

As for my health, it's good -- praise the Lord!  I've worked full time the last 2 weeks, and it feels pretty good.  I do love my job, and the people I work with are terrific.  It's been a long road back, and I'm grateful to everyone who prayed and supported me through.

It's been an eventful month so far. Our family spent the last week of July at Lake Shasta on a houseboat we rented.  We left on August 1 and got back to San Diego on the 2nd.  My stepmother died August 3.  I didn't go back to the funeral even though I wanted to.  It was held in Warrensburg on August 6.  I started back to work on August 7, Grant's birthday.  On the 16th, John and I celebrated our 23rd anniversary.  Joseph started 7th grade on the 17th.  Last week I worked 3 days, and 3 days again this week.  Next week I go back to full time work.  I still love my job, and several clients I worked with before have asked to see me again.

My hair is starting to grow back in, but it's sparse and still very short.  I noticed stubble on my legs yesterday, so no more saving money on razors.    So, I'm wearing a wig to work, and it's a weird feeling.  I see the various Marines with their shaved heads, and want to tell them I have the same hairstyle.  So far, I've restrained myself. 

I still struggle with fatigue at times, but overall, I'm feeling a lot better.  Work is energizing but the commute isn't.  It took me more than 2 hours to get home tonight.  Stop and go traffic for 60 miles is not fun.